The Words, They are Few

There has been little to share these past days. I have been luxuriating in the time with my Kat and my Gep, relaxing, chatting, sitting quietly enjoying their presence. The words have been restricted to those conversations.

We have been dealing with husband, who has become noticeably weaker in the past couple of weeks, we think, but no less stubborn. It is hard for him to adjust and admit to the weakness, to recognize it and be as cautious as we would like him to be. He is using his walker, but even that is sometimes insufficient. I have been grateful for Kat and Gep and their help.

That time is nearing an end, however. Kat leaves for her new adventure in South Korea tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning. Gep will be leaving on Tuesday to wrap up the last of what he must take care of before flying back to Oman in a few days. I always miss them when they are gone, but this year the missing will be sharper, more pronounced. I know this because I can feel it already. It will be time to relearn being without them and the ready conversation. It will be time to relearn to prepare meals, which will be nowhere as delicious or creative as those Kat has been preparing for us these past weeks.

That heaviness, that loneliness looms on the horizon. I will survive it, and they will return for the winter holidays. I know this too. I treasure this knowledge.

The fruits of their visit will stay with me, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

The beauty of their love will stay with me, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

The warmth, the softness of their hugs, of their presence, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

Knowing all of this will take me through these months that follow. Knowing all of this will lift my heart and my spirits. There is nothing better than knowing love.