The Words, They are Few

There has been little to share these past days. I have been luxuriating in the time with my Kat and my Gep, relaxing, chatting, sitting quietly enjoying their presence. The words have been restricted to those conversations.

We have been dealing with husband, who has become noticeably weaker in the past couple of weeks, we think, but no less stubborn. It is hard for him to adjust and admit to the weakness, to recognize it and be as cautious as we would like him to be. He is using his walker, but even that is sometimes insufficient. I have been grateful for Kat and Gep and their help.

That time is nearing an end, however. Kat leaves for her new adventure in South Korea tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning. Gep will be leaving on Tuesday to wrap up the last of what he must take care of before flying back to Oman in a few days. I always miss them when they are gone, but this year the missing will be sharper, more pronounced. I know this because I can feel it already. It will be time to relearn being without them and the ready conversation. It will be time to relearn to prepare meals, which will be nowhere as delicious or creative as those Kat has been preparing for us these past weeks.

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That heaviness, that loneliness looms on the horizon. I will survive it, and they will return for the winter holidays. I know this too. I treasure this knowledge.

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The fruits of their visit will stay with me, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

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The beauty of their love will stay with me, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

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The warmth, the softness of their hugs, of their presence, will outlive the loneliness. I know this.

Knowing all of this will take me through these months that follow. Knowing all of this will lift my heart and my spirits. There is nothing better than knowing love.

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About Carol

I'm me - nothing unusual, just me. Widowed, 2 grown children who are my best friends, 2 dogs, 1 cat, retired, loving being retired. I am woman, I am strong.
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18 Responses to The Words, They are Few

  1. Robin says:

    Your words and images are beautiful, Carol. *Hugs*

    Like

  2. Sheri B says:

    Thinking of you. Hugs.

    Like

  3. jay53 says:

    Very beautifully written, Carol. You are handling all this with love and grace. I honestly don’t think you could be doing better, although it’s certain you disagree. Nobody ever thinks they are ‘enough’ at times like this.

    Sending hugs, my dear. May you continue to live with such tranquility.

    Like

  4. pattisj says:

    You are still able to see the beauty that surrounds you. That in itself is a blessing.

    Like

  5. Kathy says:

    Silently crying. Honoring the fruits of your visit. Heading to my childhood home this week…

    Like

  6. Heather says:

    Your words bring tears. First of sorrow then joy.
    You are absolutely right: there is no finer thing that knowing love.

    Like

  7. Joanne says:

    Thank you for sharing a few words with your bloggy friends Carol. And such beautiful words they are, filled with deep love. Sending hugs to you. xxx

    Like

  8. “There is nothing better than knowing love.”

    Those few words say everything!

    Like

  9. suzicate says:

    Beautiful. One who hasn’t experienced “knowing love” has never truly lived.

    Like

  10. It’s wonderful that you’ve had this time with them. I know you’ll miss them, but as you say, they’ll be back. You can rest in knowing that, and remembering their presence. 🙂

    Like

  11. Dawn says:

    It was always hard on my Mom when we left…even the day or so before, knowing. But as you say she also knew love. This is a difficult time for you. Those words aren’t even close to what it really is. Wish there was some way to help. So glad your kids could spend the time they could..still..wish we all could have lived closer to our parents…in miles.. . I don’t think your kids could be any closer to you than they are spiritually. They are good kids. You deserve that.

    Sending hugs to you and your husband who surely will miss them as well. And they you guys.

    Like

  12. Lisa says:

    This is a beautiful post. I completely understand your feelings. Very happy you had wonderful times with them while they were here. I can’t imagine living that far away.

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  13. Dear Carol,
    I cannot help but cry as I read your words—so beautifully expressed–that capture so much truth and emotion. My heart goes out to you all. I am so glad that you have each other, and time and distance will not change that.
    Love,
    Naomi

    Like

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