Getting Older – Not for the Weak

Getting older has been on my mind lately – well, for a few years now, because that’s where I have been and am – getting older. It’s a mix of good and less good, and I’d like to share some of my thoughts. I’m doing this for your own good, you know – I want to make sure you’ll be prepared.

1. Things sag.

2. You discover body parts that you didn’t know could hurt.

3. It’s okay to say what you think because, you know, age and possible dementia.

4. Comfort matters more than style.

5. Have that extra glass of wine or extra piece of cake – you’ve made it this far. Heck, have both!

6. You get creative about ways to get up off the floor. You also wonder why you got down there in the first place.

7. I never realized how heavy that vacuum is. Where is my housekeeper?

8. Oh, I still have to cook before I can have a meal? Why?

9. Things sag.

10. Putting clean sheets on the bed can be a challenge. When did that mattress get so heavy?

11. Those are weeds? But they have flowers, so I think they can stay.

12. Maybe I really wanted grass there instead of flowers.

13. When did sitting on a riding mower to cut my grass start to make my back hurt?

14. When did my toes get so far away – time to trim or polish becomes a real mathematical problem – what is the right angle?

15. Things sag.

16. Slippers can be worn all day. Did you know that?

17. Who installed all these darn flower beds that need upkeep? Maybe they should be allowed to do their own thing. Too much control isn’t good.

18. Things sag.

19. Brains slow down and sometimes lose words.

20. Welcome the New Year’s? Why? It’ll get here without my watching.

21. Go out for dinner? Can we go at 4:00? I need to be home by dark.

22. Things sag.

23. You thank your stars for every morning you can get out of that bed.

24. And you thank your stars for having that bed. Under a roof. With temperature control.

25. And if things sag, so what?

One thing this old lady managed to do was to create a catio for the cats by wrapping the gazebo in fencing wire. There is a cat flap in the window. Now they can get outside air without danger from hawks, eagles, and coyotes.


About Carol

I'm me - nothing unusual, just me. Widowed, 2 grown children who are my best friends, 1 dog, retired, loving being retired. I am woman, I am strong.
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19 Responses to Getting Older – Not for the Weak

  1. Roadtirement says:

    That sagging stinks, huh?

    Like

  2. Things sag??! ๐Ÿ˜† I’ve joined the ‘wrinkly’ (wrinkly might be offensive to some, but I find it amusing – my face (which isn’t exactly wrinkly. Not yet.) is a road map of experience, not an attempt to stay young beyond my time. My thighs are wrinkly though and scared the hell out of me the first time I noticed they were ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ) brigade this year (well it’s been coming on for a while now…I had the mindset long before the actual age arrived). I admit I laughed all the way through your list, because getting up off the floor is something I never attempt, unless I fall down there (which happens now and then). People rush to help me out of chairs (without arms) because I look so awkward trying to stand up properly. Joints fail (that belongs on the list). I haven’t been able to reach my feet in 20 years (see remark about being ‘there’ long before chronologically I belonged). Thank you sincerely for a good chuckle this morning! I needed it! ๐Ÿ˜†

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Humor and music | sparksfromacombustiblemind

  4. I shared your perspective post here on: http://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/2020/04/29/humor-and-music/

    We all need to laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. loisajay says:

    #21. Definitely # 21. I don’t get people who eat at 7. What in the heck time do they go to bed??Carol, your creativity knows no bounds. The catio is such a great idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve been a UTW for years, and the UK government have ensured I had an extra 6 years of practice!
    Things sag, and bounce actually. It had been years since I saw my feet, then when I did I was surprised they were so small. They say nothing grows in the shade. I have a double chin or three, maybe four now, it’s like looking at me over a sliced loaf. A few years ago I managed to touch my toes, the first time since I left school in 1972. OK, I couldn’t stand up again, but hey, I touched them!
    Getting up again from getting down requires a winch or a sofa. Worst case scenario if neither are available is to flip onto my front, get on all fours and stick the backside in the air doing baby steps until sort of upright. Bit like a giraffe going down for a drink in reverse
    I have a drink problem when the teapot’s empty, and comfort eat anything when I’m sitting comfortably.
    This is actually quite a good response. Think I’ll post it with a link to yours! Cheers Carol.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Getting older | pensitivity101

  8. Astrid says:

    This is such an awesome list! Unfortunately, even at 33, I can relate to some of these, as I’m in pretty poor shape, overweight and mildly physically disabled.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Carol โ€” Thank you for the wonderful laugh. And I LOVE your catio!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. leendadll says:

    Yay for the catio (and pic)!
    I’d like to add… hair goes grey… ALL your hair goes grey. ALL of it!!
    Also, hair falls out of your head but grows like crazy everywhere else.

    My get off the floor technique is “reverse downward dog”. Quite embarrassing when I have to do it in the front yard cause I got on the ground to pet my cats!!

    Like

  11. Lisa says:

    Oh my, I LOLed at these because I resemble all those remarks! And kudos to you for the ingenious idea for a catio. In reality, it’s really not funny, but thanks for the giggle anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  12. I thoroughly enjoyed this – after the second “things sagged” I wondered if it was a typo – then I thought, no, one for the right and one for the left. Then there were more sagging bits, so I knew it was a running gag. And a good one! A sag gag, if you will.

    Bravo on the catio! The kitties will love that!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ally Bean says:

    Oh this is a good one. I enjoyed your take on your life, as it sags along at a pace you like. Nice cat patio. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Kathy says:

    Just had to see if you were still blogging and I am happy to see that you are! I loved this list. As to forgetting words, yep, that’s happening already. Along with the sagging. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Laura says:

    I giggled all the way to the bottom of this list then stopped to admire your catio. What an awesome way to get your cats fresh air!! I’ve noticed quite a few of these items, especially that mysterious aching thing, and I’ve got a good inch of roots where I’ve started letting the grays grow in. We are embracing ALL the stuff so bring on the wine and cake!

    Liked by 1 person

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