On this sunny fall morning, I am feeling so grateful to so many of you – to my friends here in my neighborhood, to my kids, to so many of my bloggy friends – the support you have all shown after my loss of my oldest furry girl, Bailey, has been overwhelming. It has reminded me how close a community can become, despite the fact that we have never met in person.
Shasta and I are finding our new normal. She has been unusually quiet for the past few days, and was very unhappy when I left her at the groomers Monday while I shopped. The look she gave me when I walked out the door induced enough guilt that I made a trip to the meat market to get her some large marrow bones. She’s been carrying the one I’ve given her around nearly everywhere she goes. This morning she went on a barking frenzy when a bird pecked on one of the house walls, the first time she’s done that since Bailey’s departure.
And Bailey? Well, she’s shown up in a couple dreams, letting me know she’s okay, she’s happy, she’s free of pain. It’s been reassuring, and helpful in accepting that my decision was the best, in fact probably should have been made a couple months earlier. Saying goodbye is hard, but living in pain is harder – but it’s so hard for a mere human like me to recognize what the stoic dog is feeling. I could never get her to use her words to tell me.
Each day brings a little more healing. We thank you for your support, for being more than enough.