On a Sunday Morning, Thoughts Run Random

On this Sunday morning, random thoughts trickle through my brain, with no apparent order or reason. Just there, then gone. Rivulets of life.
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Driving down the road the other day seeing the cows in the fields, each of them bearing their identification tags in their ears, I wondered if those tags annoy them, hanging down as they do where they could be caught in the peripheral vision. I think they would make me crazy, much like too-long earrings that tickle my neck. I suppose those tags are preferable to the old way of identifying ownership however – branding seems much less humane. But still – must they hang down like that?

Some days stretch out long, leading to an unknown destination. Some days feel like a trek into wilderness, waiting to be explored. Some days feel like that trek is best made alone, in silence, with nothing drawing my attention other than what is right around me. Other days I wish for that trek to take me to warm places with happy faces.
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Some days – in the wee hours of the morning most often – memories creep in. Happy memories at first – trips husband and I took, what we saw and how easily we traveled together, welcoming detours to see what there was to see, in no hurry most of the time. But then those memories turn from the good years and good times to the last few years of his life, and sadness creeps in. The contrast between what he was and what he became – what our life was, and what it became. I wish not to remember those last years. I wish to isolate those years and remember the good times. Those last years are wounds that should be covered, I think. Hidden from view. I remind myself that wounds heal over, given time. Time.
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There is always light, even in the darkest of times. Light to show us the way, to guide us on the path of life. To shine brightly, to cast away the darkness. In that light, there will be enough. I know this. I do. Some days though, the random thoughts dim that light. So then I think of the cows with their annoying hanging-down tags. Silly, isn’t it, to wonder what the cows think of it? I think of the silly tiny little hummingbird who often claims the tree outside my window, gathering all of its energy to attempt intimidation of the other birds that think they should share the tree. And the light shines more brightly, the random thoughts grow more sprightly. I made a rhyme! Are you impressed? No? But I get credit for trying, yes?
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In all of this, these random thoughts with varying emotions, there is the knowledge that we adapt – when we cannot change things, when we cannot control the annoyances that intrude into our lives, our thoughts, we adapt. Because that’s how we are. Because that’s what allows us to go on, from one day to the next, always seeking enough and ultimately finding it. Ultimately rejoicing in it.
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It is that thought that makes it all okay – I have enough.

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About Carol

I'm me - nothing unusual, just me. Widowed, 2 grown children who are my best friends, 2 dogs, 1 cat, retired, loving being retired. I am woman, I am strong.
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9 Responses to On a Sunday Morning, Thoughts Run Random

  1. “There is always light, even in the darkest of times.”

    Carol – A wonderful reminder woven in among your beautiful photographs. Thank you.

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  2. Kathy says:

    Thank you for sharing this, Carol. I like how you pointed out the wide variety of what can happen in our days. Feeling sad now for those last years with your husband when everything changed so much. Blessings.

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  3. Robin says:

    Beautiful post, Carol. And yes, I am impressed with your rhyme. 🙂

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  4. Your photos seemed very fitting to your random thoughts, both deeper than how they appear on paper. And I liked your spontaneous rhyme. Even your “rambling” thoughts are clever. I am glad you found enough today.

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  5. I just finished reading Amy Tan’s The Bonesetter’s Daughter, and it talks about memory and how we need to shape it sometimes to make it what we need it to be. I believe we all would like to hang on to the good memories and bury the bad ones. It’s wonderful to try to hold on to those happier times, although we can never truly forget the bad times.

    There are a lot of annoyances in life, but I do believe we do adapt to whatever our circumstances. I find myself having to do that when living in foreign lands. It’s a challenge, and often I’m amazed at what I can adapt to. I see how so many other people in the world live, and I see how they’ve adapted to their lives, hardships and all. It’s all food for thought, isn’t it, Carol?

    Thanks for sharing your ponderings on this Sunday (Monday for me here in China). Hugs. xxx

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  6. Karma says:

    Rambling, twisting, turning… your wandering mind is fascinating to me.

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  7. Robin says:

    Rejoicing in enough.

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  8. Heather says:

    I don’t know that I’ve met anyone as aware of “enough” as you. I know you’ll find your light in dark times, and that you’ll find a way to allow the sadness its space without it taking over. Until then, or through those times I offer hugs. Virtual ones (())

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  9. lisa says:

    Oh my, this is Sunday’s post and here it is Thursday night! Seriously, I don’t know where the time goes anymore. Carol, I love this post. It’s so full of wisdom and self-reflection. And one I really needed. xo

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