There’s a Reason I’ve Been Quiet

And the reason is that husband is in hospital. Thursday morning his pain became so acute that we called the ambulance. His heart rate was too high so they transported him to ER, and from there he was admitted to the hospital. Yesterday we met with the doctor, the Palliative Care nurse and Hospice. Their goal (after consulting with his oncologist) is to find the medications that will handle his pain and make him more comfortable. I agree. It’s a direction I’ve been wanting to go for a few months now. It will take some convincing to get him to agree to hospice because Medicare allows either hospice or treatments. The point now is to change the direction of the hope and the fight – from “find and fix” to a reasonable quality of life for whatever time is left. It cannot be fixed. Treatments are no longer controlling the spread of the cancer. It is time to find comfort. That will be enough.

I am doing fine. I have Kat with me, Gep soon to follow and the support of my very good friends here as well as the support of my bloggy friends, I know. Life is rarely that fairy tale version we carry in our heads growing up, but life is enough.

I have a few photos taken a few days ago of some of my birdie visitors which I want to share. Happy spots in the day, you know.


20130713-102246.jpg Yeah, so what?! So we’re having a bad hair day!

20130713-102350.jpg It’s such a relief when the kids finally leave the nest and learn to survive on their own. Finally I can have a relaxing bath!

20130713-102444.jpg Coming in for a landing

20130713-102514.jpg Ahhhh, the sweet nectar of life!

About Carol

I'm me - nothing unusual, just me. Widowed, 2 grown children who are my best friends, 1 dog, retired, loving being retired. I am woman, I am strong.
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17 Responses to There’s a Reason I’ve Been Quiet

  1. Dear Carol,
    I am sure you are doing the right thing–comfort and quality of life are the most important thing right now. I am so so so glad that you have support circle and your kids. I am wishing you all as much comfort and peace as you can find or lend each other. You are woman, you are strong.
    I am sending hugs and wishes and good thoughts for you all.


    • Carol says:

      Thank you, Naomi.

      “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh


  2. Madhu says:

    Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers Carol. Take care.


  3. “Comfort and reasonable quality of life” are the precise ingredients I would personally want as I prepared to make a smooth transition onto my next adventure.


  4. Sheri B says:

    You’re in our thoughts and prayers.


  5. Kathy says:

    Blessings, Carol. I can understand why you’re feeling quiet. Glad that you have a good support system…


  6. jay53 says:

    It makes me angry when I hear that insurance companies can dictate such a choice, but … as you say, if the fight can’t be won, maybe it is time to change direction. I am so glad to hear that you have such good support from family and friends, and that you are finding small brights spots in each day. I have to say the ‘bad hair day’ bird is an extremely weird-looking little fellow, and so funny!

    I’m thinking of you, and your husband, and your family. We all have the fairytale vision in our heads, but I think life is rarely like that. My wish for you is that they get his meds right so that he does not have to live with intolerable pain.


  7. Joanne says:

    Oh dearest Carol, sending you and your husband hugs, love, blessings and strength always. ❤


  8. Heather says:

    I fully understand your quiet and also send my love to you and your loved ones. Take care of each other. I admire your ability to appreciate what you have as enough and continue to find the bright spots in each day. Hugs!


  9. I am sorry to hear that Husband has taken a turn for the worse. Maybe it is the right time to turn to comfort and quality of life at the end. The hospice nurses who have taken care of my relatives were wonderful beyond words. These people know what they are doing and not only keep the patient comfortable with dignity, but also provide mountains of support for the family members. I wish you and your family all the best in this next stage of life. Keep taking a few moments to find those bright spots every day.


  10. Karma says:

    Warm thoughts and hugs sent across the continent to you. Thanks for the happy birdy shots.


  11. Lynne Ayers says:

    Thinking of you, Carol. I hope you will both find some peace and enjoyment in each other as his physical pain eases.


  12. Rob says:

    What a difficult time for both of you. I am sorry that you are facing this, but glad to know that you have family with you. The hospice care that a few of my family members have received was a relief for all, and definitely beneficial for the loved ones who needed the care and comfort from pain. Hospice nurses are extra special – there is no one like them!

    You are in my thoughts. I am sending you one of those silly virtual hugs, because you can’t really feel it, but I like to pretend across the blogosphere, that you do. Take care of yourself. Be well.

    I laughed at the bird having a bad hair day, and hummingbirds are always a wonder to me. I don’t know if that was an intentional metaphor, but I thought it was poignant.


  13. lisa says:

    Ahh, I wondered as much. I’m so sorry to hear of this turn of events. I pray comfort, wisdom and strength will be yours as you face the future. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. xoxox


  14. Thoughts and prayers are with you and Husband, Carol. May whatever choices you make bring you both peace and comfort.


  15. Kind thoughts and prayers for you both.


  16. Robin says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband, Carol. Finding comfort and a good quality of life are things I would want, too.
    Your birds are wonderful and made me smile. Thank you. 🙂


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