Pondering Valentine’s Day

Today is Valentine’s Day – at least in our United States, it is. I hope it is a happy day for all of you, but not because it is Valentine’s Day. Just because I would wish you a happy day every day. I would wish you a life filled with love and joy and beauty without the calendar telling me it is the day to do so.

I remember when I was a young child, cutting hearts out of red construction paper, celebrating this Valentine’s Day holiday with a party in our class. Back then, in those tender days of youth, the day was simply that – a day to have a party, to pass around cut-out hearts. A lot like May Day in the days of my youth, when we would put together little baskets of candy and leave them on the doorsteps of our friends, knocking then running away. A day to play.

As I got older, Valentine’s Day became less important. I suspect in the later grades of school it seemed important to me to have someone ask me to “be my Valentine”. Now? Now I think I would rather have my loved one give me a demonstration of his love just because. Not according to the calendar, but just because he wanted to. That demonstration doesn’t need to be a dozen roses – I can think of many other ways I would rather spend that money. That demonstration could simply be a hug, a pat on the back, an “I love you”, a meal prepared by him not me.

Of course, those demonstrations should go both ways. I should give those same demonstrations of love. Look! I washed, dried and folded your dirty clothes! Look! I bought your favorite treat while I was shopping – or for those who are more industrious, I made your favorite treat! Even those daily events can be demonstrations of love, don’t you think?

There are a couple of holidays that have been commercialized more than they need to be that I think are more important to be recognized. The anniversary of making a commitment to love one another is an important date – a date to say thank you for agreeing to be with me. Thank you for adding value to my life.

Birthdays too. A birthday is the one day that is unique to each of us. The day of your birth is yours – celebrate each year that you add to that life and invite your loved ones to celebrate with you. Those celebrations do not need to include major gifts – a card, a verbal “I am glad you are in this life” – those would be adequate.

All of this to say I think we should give whatever we wish or are able to give to our loved ones because we choose to. Because we can. When we can. When we choose to. It means more coming from you on a day that the world doesn’t proclaim to be a day to give.

Give because you can. Fill your baskets with enough.

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About Carol

I'm me - nothing unusual, just me. Widowed, 2 grown children who are my best friends, 2 dogs, 1 cat, retired, loving being retired. I am woman, I am strong.
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15 Responses to Pondering Valentine’s Day

  1. Cee Neuner says:

    Hi Carol, happy day to you too!!! You have said so eloquently why I don’t celebrate holidays on holidays. But to celebrate love any time it feels right …. oh that is precious!!!

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  2. Northern Narratives says:

    I wonder what happened to May Day. We used to make baskets too 🙂

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  3. suzicate says:

    I totally agree with you!

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  4. Carol – I agree with Cee in that you’ve said it so eloquently, and I resonate with your sentiments 😀

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  5. Lisa says:

    Wonderful, wonderful words. And I’m sure they mean more to you because of recent events. Yes, we all should not be tied to a specific day in order to show those we love how much we love and cherish them. Happy Heart Day to you and yours. Hope your day is a sweet one.

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  6. Heather says:

    We agree again 🙂 Except for pink and red sprinkles, I even completely avoid the commercialism surrounding 2/14. I don’t want vendors to get the idea that they’ve suckered me into thinking this is the most important time to be generous with love.
    Happy day Carol. I’m glad I know you in the small way I do on these interwebs 🙂

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  7. Joanne says:

    I couldn’t agree more with you Carol. I find it rediculous to “wait” for a certain day in which you can spill out your heart and be truthful about the way you feel about someone, and doing it so expensively too. Love isn’t meant to be that way, it should be demonstrated every day, to everyone you love, in small but caring gestures. (I agree with you about the folding of washing!) 🙂

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  8. I agree wholeheartedly. It’s so much hype and yes, you should show people you love them all the time, in both little and big ways. For those of us who are single, it’s also a depressing day because it is a reminder of what we don’t have in our lives.

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  9. Beautifully said! 😉

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  10. I am happily married to a wonderful, thoughtful man who expresses his love to me 364 days of the year. We make a point of not celebrating Valentine’s Day. I do feel sorry for the young couples starting out and the pressure that Hallmark, Kaye’s jewelers, Godiva and every other company puts on them to show their love. I think it takes experience and comfort with each other to cast all that aside and express love in other non-material ways.

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  11. dawnkinster says:

    Did not even realize yesterday was Valentines day. Had bad day at work. Which is no excuse. But it’s all I’ve got.

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  12. I agree with all of the sentiments written here so far. My husband shows his love to me in a myriad of meaningful ways, and vice versa. We don’t need a “special” day to convey our love, as we do that every day. So much commercialism!

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  13. Colleen says:

    Resonating with your thoughts and reflections Carol.

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  14. Dear Carol,
    So well said! Best wishes given freely and with all my heart!

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  15. Kathy says:

    This is so beautiful! May we fill our baskets with enough.

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